Why Do We Shout When I Talk
When we quarrel with people, such as your uncle on the other end of the political spectrum, disrespectful neighbors, or even your messy roommates, it can easily turn into a shouting contest. However, according to Cornell University’s organizational behavior Professor Vanessa Bohns said that yelling in an argument not only undermines the validity of our information, but also shows that we lack confidence in our ability to influence others.
As Burns wrote in a recent article in The Wall Street Journal, “Although we are often overconfident in our beliefs, our tendency to yell at neighbors, friends, or opponents stems from our Lack of confidence in the ability to persuade others."
Bohns published the book "Your Influence Is Greater Than You Think: How We Underestimate Our Persuasive Power and Its Importance" on September 7th. Her career has been studying how people influence each other.
As Burns wrote in a recent article in The Wall Street Journal, “Although we are often overconfident in our beliefs, our tendency to yell at neighbors, friends, or opponents stems from our Lack of confidence in the ability to persuade others."
Bohns published the book "Your Influence Is Greater Than You Think: How We Underestimate Our Persuasive Power and Its Importance" on September 7th. Her career has been studying how people influence each other.
Bohns published the book "Your Influence Is Greater Than You Think: How We Underestimate Our Persuasive Power and Its Importance" on September 7th. Her career has been studying how people influence each other. Although many studies have shown that most of us believe that we are superior to the average in terms of creativity, moral quality, and athletic ability, this self-confidence does not extend to how we perceive our social skills or how others perceive it.
We underestimate our ability to convince others
Over the years, many studies have shown that we tend to underestimate our ability to influence others. This includes surveys showing that people tend to assume that other people are less interested in them, studies show that people think strangers like them less than those strangers report to researchers, and research participants overestimate the difficulty of getting friends and strangers People do an ordinary task.
As Bohns pointed out, "These two seemingly contradictory but actually complementary research results together create a perfect storm, leading to yelling." Because we believe that we are more knowledgeable and moral than ordinary people , And less susceptible to prejudice, which makes us believe that we should be listened to.
However, we also do not believe that we are capable of persuading others, thus creating a sense of insecurity that no one is listening to us. As Bohns said: “We yell because we think people won’t listen to us.”
Anyone who has experienced a quarrel knows that when it comes to certain topics, it's hard not to raise your voice. However, although it is tempting to shout loudly, it may actually be counterproductive. A large number of studies have shown that yelling is a less effective way to persuade others, especially when they are no longer willing to believe you.As Bohns pointed out, "These two seemingly contradictory but actually complementary research results together create a perfect storm, leading to yelling." Because we believe that we are more knowledgeable and moral than ordinary people , And less susceptible to prejudice, which makes us believe that we should be listened to.
However, we also do not believe that we are capable of persuading others, thus creating a sense of insecurity that no one is listening to us. As Bohns said: “We yell because we think people won’t listen to us.”
Anyone who has experienced a quarrel knows that when it comes to certain topics, it's hard not to raise your voice. However, although it is tempting to shout loudly, it may actually be counterproductive. A large number of studies have shown that yelling is a less effective way to persuade others, especially when they are no longer willing to believe you.
As Bohns pointed out, "These two seemingly contradictory but actually complementary research results together create a perfect storm, leading to yelling." Because we believe that we are more knowledgeable and moral than ordinary people , And less susceptible to prejudice, which makes us believe that we should be listened to.
However, we also do not believe that we are capable of persuading others, thus creating a sense of insecurity that no one is listening to us. As Bohns said: “We yell because we think people won’t listen to us.”
Anyone who has experienced a quarrel knows that when it comes to certain topics, it's hard not to raise your voice. However, although it is tempting to shout loudly, it may actually be counterproductive. A large number of studies have shown that yelling is a less effective way to persuade others, especially when they are no longer willing to believe you.
As Bohns pointed out, "These two seemingly contradictory but actually complementary research results together create a perfect storm, leading to yelling." Because we believe that we are more knowledgeable and moral than ordinary people , And less susceptible to prejudice, which makes us believe that we should be listened to.
However, we also do not believe that we are capable of persuading others, thus creating a sense of insecurity that no one is listening to us. As Bohns said: “We yell because we think people won’t listen to us.”
Anyone who has experienced a quarrel knows that when it comes to certain topics, it's hard not to raise your voice. However, although it is tempting to shout loudly, it may actually be counterproductive. A large number of studies have shown that yelling is a less effective way to persuade others, especially when they are no longer willing to believe you.
Shouting during an argument is less effective
On the contrary, gentle persuasion is often the most effective. This includes strategies such as pointing out the disconnect between what a person thinks and what he says and what he does, or the disconnect between what they recommend for others and what they recommend. For example, if someone trusts their doctor when it comes to medical advice that is not related to COVID-19, but does not trust it when it comes to advice related to COVID-19, it is a disconnect. Elderly parents are advised to follow COVID-19 precautions, but the same is true for people who do not follow these precautions themselves.
Another strategy is to ask questions as a way for someone to clarify their thoughts and opinions. This is a way to engage them in the subject and think carefully. You can yell until your face turns blue, but if the other party does not listen, nothing will change. However, if you can get a person to think about and participate in a topic, they may be able to solve it through their thoughts and reasons.
Another strategy is to ask questions as a way for someone to clarify their thoughts and opinions. This is a way to engage them in the subject and think carefully. You can yell until your face turns blue, but if the other party does not listen, nothing will change. However, if you can get a person to think about and participate in a topic, they may be able to solve it through their thoughts and reasons.
So next time your uncle starts talking about why they think COVID-19 is exaggerated, try not to raise your voice. This will not help, it will most likely be hurt, and you will only end the conversation in frustration and frustration. Conversely, if you think you have an opportunity to interact with them in a productive way, try a gentler and gentler approach. So next time your uncle starts talking about why they think COVID-19 is exaggerated, try not to raise your voice. This will not help, it will most likely be hurt, and you will only end the conversation in frustration and frustration. Conversely, if you think you have an opportunity to interact with them in a productive way, try a gentler and gentler approach.