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| The right way to deal with a selfish child |
The selfish child of the behavioral problems suffered by many parents in the family, which can cause behavioral deviations in the personality of the child in the long run, and from mothers who neglect to hear every day from their child some words that resonate on his tongue daily such as (I do not want someone to play with my toys, I do not want anyone to wear my clothes), of course you as a mother want to give your child everything he wants, but did you ever think to meet all the child wants It may make him a selfish person and thus turn his personality into a narcissistic character who feels that he is the best and all his requests are implemented just because he wants them, hence asking the mothers how to deal with the selfish behavior of the child before the problem worsens and is difficult to control.
Who's the selfish kid?
It is the selfish child who presents himself and his personal interest on anything, without regard to any other considerations, he sees only what he wants and does not like to share what he owns or does not have with anyone, in addition to his constant insistence to meet all his desires under any circumstances.
What is innocent selfishness in children?
Through psychological studies on the behavior of the child to assess the percentage of selfishness and narcissism in children, the researchers found that children in the early ages from birth to the age of 5 years are naturally selfish, but this selfishness is called innocent selfishness i.e. it is the result of the age they are going through, the child at this age does not know the postponement of desire or the right time for its requirements For example, if you ask children of this age who is good in a particular subject, they will all raise their hands because children will not normally make a comparison, they will focus only on themselves and will not understand anything about comparing themselves to others until around the age of eight.
How do you know your child is selfish?
You should pay attention to your child's behavior and behavior always, especially after the age of five, because the behavior of the child after this age is part of his personality and can not neglect his actions on the pretext that he is still young, and be careful because children imitate parents in everything and the selfishness of the child may be a characteristic acquired by the mother or father, but if you want to know whether your child is selfish or not note the following:
- Watch out for the sentences and words that your child repeats and notice the presence of words such as (I do not want to play with my games - I do not want to wear my clothes - do not come our house - do not sit next to me - stay away from my mother - stay away from my father) all these words indicate the selfishness of the child, he always does not like to share with him what he has.
- If you see your child not sharing the rest of the children with general things and not his or her, for example if you are on a picnic and there are common games for children and you find your child does not want other children to play with him, this is an indication of selfishness.
- The selfish child is always isolated from the rest of the children, not because he loves loneliness on the contrary, but because children often stay away from him, watch your child.
Selfish child and selfish causes Selfishness
in children is normal at the beginning of the first age, and with age after the age of five it makes sense for the child's concentration to shift from self-interest to himself and others, but what drives the child to selfishness and what causes that occur about the child earns him the status of selfishness!
1. Over-pampering (over-spoiling):
The most thing that is caused by the selfishness of the child is to pamper too much, constant praise because and without reason, meet all the wishes of the child, and not set certain limits in dealing outside or inside the house, which develops within the child self-love and obsession himself continuously, and therefore will only see himself and will not share with anyone in anything but himself he sees the whole world in his surroundings only.
2- Negligence:
Although the good pampering is the cause of the child's selfishness, also excessive neglect leads to selfishness, if the child does not find the attention around him made for himself to make up for this deficiency and try to control everything around him for himself only.
3- Unfairness among brothers in the house:
Many behavioral problems among children are caused by unfair treatment of children at home, and the preference of the father or mother of a child at the expense of another child, often this preference stems from the fact that one child is obedient and the other is naughty, but this does not give the right of parents to differentiate in the treatment of their children.
4- Low self-confidence and fear:
If the child does not feel confident in himself, he will not have the skills to communicate with others (social networking) and therefore will suffer from the lack of understanding of others or understanding their feelings, in which case he will resort to isolation and introversion, and will not like to share anything, and will prefer to take care of himself and his own things only and will not allow anyone to approach him and become selfish, so you must support the child's self-confidence.
How to deal with a selfish child
The father and mother must be aware that the selfishness of the child is never easy and can destroy their son's life forever, but if you are looking for ways to modify your child's selfish behavior and protect your child from himself, this is amazing, but first the father and mother must meet on one heart, to put your foot on the first step of the right path, and the first of these methods is to pay attention to these points well:
1- Teach your child the meaning of giving, for example buying some candy and asking him to distribute it to his friends at school or his brothers.
2. Develop his self-confidence by praising his desirable behaviour.
3- Do not hesitate to develop your child's social participation and love for others, and prefer to be involved in group sports by involving him in group sports such as football and basketball, and ask him to volunteer in social activities in order to increase his sense of giving.
4- Avoid neglect and excessive pampering of the child.
5- Teach him to respect others, sympathize with them and appreciate their circumstances.
Steps to correct a child's selfish behavior
Set an example for your child:
A child is a copycat in the first place, and if your child has a certain behavior, it must be transferred from someone, pay attention to your actions in front of your child as well as the people who live with
you at home, and be a role model for your child and his work love, giving and selfishness.
The best things in the middle:
The middle ground in dealing with the child in everything, do not spoil the child significantly and do not neglect him either so that he does not have selfishness, and does not meet everything the child demands and does not reject everything he asks.
Do not tolerate selfish behavior:
If your child has any act of selfishness or self-love too much, feel free to alert your child to his or her misdeed, and direct him to the right act, even if it comes to punishment.
Teach the child empathy:
Always make sure to arouse your child's passion by offering him a good model of kindness, such as giving your child money and asking him to give it to someone in need in the street with humility and politeness, another example if he sees someone crying that a sad person kisses him and peace be upon him with love.
The method of reward and punishment:
When your child does a good thing, you must reward him and praise him, and do not praise him a lot, as we agreed the best things in the middle, and when wrong must be punished, the method of reward and punishment teaches the child that every action has a reaction, and if you plant it you reap what you planted.
In the end, dear parents, we hope that we have given you everything you are trying to know about how to modify the behavior of selfishness in children and how you can treat this behavior easily, easily and wisely, make sure that raising your children is your responsibility alone and you must set it the first priority in your life before work, money or anything. Plant within it a love of goodness and participation, our children like small roses, we must keep caring for and feeding them in the best possible way.